SONG LYRICS

Richard Cheese has written and recorded numerous original songs, including "I'm Blue No Matter Who," "I Love Boobies," "Christmas In Las Vegas," "Let's Lounge," and "Baby Stay The Fuck Away From Me."

See complete lyrics below.

Select sheet music is available at shop.richardcheese.com!

All of Richard Cheese's original songs are available on "SNAPPIER THAN EVER: THE ORIGINAL SONGS" album, released in 2022!

01 LET'S LOUNGE
02 DRINK TO HAWAII
03 I LOVE BOOBIES
04 CHRISTMAS IN LAS VEGAS
05 THE FRIDAY SONG
06 VACCINE DADDY
07 BABY STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME
08 VEGAS ON MY MIND
09 HANNUKAH IN LAS VEGAS
10 I WAS DRUNK
11 DENVER AIRPORT SONG
12 RICHARD CHEESE'S BIRTHDAY SONG
13 SONG FOR ADULT FILM
14 MY MICROPHONE IS BROKEN

"Christmas In Las Vegas"
by Richard Cheese
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis

An original song featured on the Richard Cheese albums "Silent Nightclub" (2006) and "Cocktails With Santa" (2013).

Christmas in Las Vegas
Decorate your tree with chips
Let's roll a yo beneath the mistletoe
While that angel strips

Rudolph sold the sled, now he's betting on red
In a casino made out of gingerbread
Christmas in Las Vegas
It's a trip!

The wise men are rolling sevens
The elves are doubling down
Light a candle, and pull the handle
I love that jingling sound

Every showgirl and boy ride in a sleigh of joy
Pulled by eight tiny tigers eating Siegfried & Roy
Christmas in Las Vegas
What a town!

Santa brought me two aces
I wonder if I should split?
Hey waitress, bring me a drink, while I think
What would Jesus hit?

The strip lights are all twinkling
There's no room at the inn
But because 'tis the season
They'll comp a suite for Mary at the Wynn!

Christmas in Las Vegas
It's Bethlehem with Bling!

Let's hope the dealer brings four newborn kings
'Cause my baby needs a brand new pair of five golden rings

Christmas in Las Vegas really swings!
Cha cha cha ching

I said Christmas in Las Vegas really swings!

"Christmas In Las Vegas" by Richard Cheese
Lyrics written by Mark Jonathan Davis
© Copyright 2006 Mark Jonathan Davis
Published by IdeatownUSA Recordings (ASCAP)

"I Love Boobies"
by Richard Cheese
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis, Kristen Wiig, Annie Mumolo

Richard Cheese performed this all-new original song in the hit 2021 comedy movie "Barb & Star Go To Vista Del Mar"!

Good evening! I'm Richard Cheese, thank you.
here's a little tune I wrote with my bosom buddies Barb & Star...

What I really, really love as I
Look around this place
Are all the sets of boobies
And I want them in my face

Hello boobies!

I love boobies
I love gazongas
I love knockers
And chimichangas

I love melons, and bon-bons, and winnebagos
I'll take a big chest of shirt potatoes
'Cause I love boobs

(piano solo)

I love boobies
I love ti-ti's
A couple yabbos
And dos chi-chi's

Jumblies and jigglers, fun bags and cans
If you've got a breast, let me give you a hand
Hooters and jugs and galactic probes
This song should win at least two Golden Globes

'Cause I love boobs
And irish draperies
I love boobs
I'm talkin' ta-ta's
I love boobs
I'm bonkers for honkers
I love boobs
Thanks for the mammaries
I love boobs!

"I Love Boobies" by Richard Cheese
Lyrics written by Kristen Wiig, Annie Mumolo, and Mark Jonathan Davis
© Copyright 2021 Lionsgate / Mark Jonathan Davis
Published by IdeatownUSA Recordings (ASCAP)

"I'm Blue No Matter Who"
by Richard Cheese
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis

A new standard written for the 2024 album "Blue No Matter Who." Lyric video drawn and directed by Mark Jonathan Davis.

No matter where I go
No matter what I do
I'll never find another you
I'm blue no matter who

The sunset falls in red
On the ocean's twilight hue
The stars all fade
To violet shade
I'm blue no matter who

The autumn leaves are sand
White roses cry their dew
No glint of green
To be seen
I'm blue no matter who

Together we were sunshine
Amber mornings, golden days
Pink valentines
burgundy wines,
But now they're only grays

Every love turned lonely
Every lie came true
I'll never find another you
I'm blue no matter who

(piano solo)

Silver clouds rain teardrops
No moonlight to break through
The night comes back
The sky is black
I'm blue no matter who

No matter where I go
No matter what I do
I'll never find another you
I'm blue no matter who

I'll never find another you
I'm blue no matter who

"I'm Blue No Matter Who" by Richard Cheese
Lyrics written by Mark Jonathan Davis
© Copyright 2024 Mark Jonathan Davis
Published by IdeatownUSA Recordings (ASCAP)

"Vegas On My Mind"
by Richard Cheese
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis

Richard Cheese's 2020 album "Numbers Of The Beast" featured this all-new original song about missing Las Vegas.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, I'm Richard Cheese, thank you. You know, I've been dreaming about a little town out Nevada way. And even when I can't be there, I still think about it every day...."

Every day my brain goes on a trip
All roads lead me to the strip
You say potato, I say chips
I've got Vegas on my mind

I only buy cherries in a set of three
A baby diaper means craps to me
Adele's 21 album? That's blackjack! See?
I've got Vegas on my mind

I watch "Full House," I shop at Ace Hardware
And every 7-Eleven is nice
When I see an onion
My immediate thought is dice

A plastic fork dispenser is a slot machine
My salads are Caesars, I wear Lucky Jeans
And that's where you'll find a hard seventeen
I've got Vegas on my mind

When I see a hubcap I think roulette
The elevator buttons are a keno bet
And there's a royal flush in my toilet
I've got Vegas on my mind

My chest X-ray shows prime ribs
I've got a Flamingo in my yard
My fireplace has a poker
And when I can't fall asleep, I count cards

I'll buy a cozy casino just for me and you
I can't wait to see that deluxe strip view
Tonight my credit score is 702
I've got Vegas on my mind

I've got an itch
To get rich
I've got Vegas on my mind

"Vegas On My Mind" by Richard Cheese
Lyrics written by Mark Jonathan Davis
© Copyright 2020 Mark Jonathan Davis
Published by IdeatownUSA Recordings (ASCAP)

"Baby Stay The Fuck Away From Me"
by Richard Cheese
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis

Richard Cheese's album "Numbers Of The Beast" includes this new original song about romance during the coronavirus pandemic.

Is your pulse racing?
Do your toes curl?
Is your temperature rising?
I've got bad news girl

You have the most beautiful face I've ever seen
But statistically you've probably got Covid19

So baby stay the fuck away from me
I have a passion for distancing socially
And as much as I love you
I'm gonna keep upwind of you
Baby stay the fuck away from me

I miss your soft kisses
And your tender embraces
But we can't 69
With masks on our faces

I long to suck your spit and put my fingers in your mouth like I used to do
But speaking clinically that would put me in the ICU

So baby stay the fuck away from me
Or else you'll be my ex permanently
And as much as I love you
I'm fine with just a picture of you
Baby stay the fuck away from me

You know that I love you
When I masturbate I'll be thinking of you
Baby stay the fuck away from me

"Baby Stay The Fuck Away From Me" by Richard Cheese
Lyrics written by Mark Jonathan Davis
© Copyright 2020 Mark Jonathan Davis
Published by IdeatownUSA Recordings (ASCAP)

"Drink To Hawaii"
by Johnny Aloha
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis

Johnny Aloha's 2010 CD "Lavapalooza" included this all-new original song about tropical cocktails.

I've been thirsting for an island vacation
But I can't afford the airline reservation
So I'll use my imagination
To make the trip come true,
I'll take a sip or two
Of tropical libation...

I'll take a Chi Chi, to Waikiki
And a Zombie, to Ka'anapali
I'll use a Mai Tai, to get to Kauai
I'll ride a Hurricane, to Lanikai

I'll drink a Lava Flow,
And dream of old Hilo
Make it a Blue Hawaiian
'Cause I'm not in Waimanalo

Oh yes, I guess that I'll just drink to Hawaii
And taste paradise on my lips
Oh well, I think I'll have to drink to Hawaii
Since I can't afford the trips

I'll fly a Pina Colada, to Ala Moana
And a Bahama Mama, to Ka'a'awa
A Planters Punch, to Hanauma Bay
I'll go with Dr. Funk, to the Hana Highway

Thanks to a Scorpion Bowl,
I'll see the Halona Blow Hole
And with a Pineapple Passion,
I'll meet a gal from Dole

Oh yes, I guess that I'll just drink to Hawaii
And taste paradise on my lips
I think I'll have to drink to Hawaii
Since I can't afford the trips

To Kapalua there's a Puka Puka carrying me
I'll climb Diamond Head with a Daiquiri
I'll sail a Navy Grog to Pearl City
I'll take a Lychee Martini to my Molokini wahine

Oh yes, I guess I'll have to drink to Hawaii
And taste paradise on my lips
I say let's all drink to Hawaii
Since we can't afford the trips
Oh no I can't afford the trips
Since I can't afford the trips
I'll drink to Hawaii

"Drink To Hawaii" by Johnny Aloha
Lyrics written by Mark Jonathan Davis
© Copyright 2010 Mark Jonathan Davis
Published by IdeatownUSA Recordings (ASCAP)

"Hannukah In Las Vegas"
by Richard Cheese
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis

An original holiday song from the 2013 Richard Cheese "Cocktails With Santa" CD, sung to the same tune as "Christmas In Las Vegas."

Hannukah in Las Vegas
It's a festival of neon lights
Bet a dollar and eat some challah
The strip is kosher tonight

There's a menorah on the Tropicana
And a stripper wearing just a yarmulke
Hannukah in Las Vegas
Eight swingin' nights

The Baruch Atah Adonai blessing
Is sung by a showgirl choir
When it's time to light the candles each night
Penn & Teller set them on fire

All the yentas make stops at the Forum Shops
And the tzimmes is made with Carrot Tops
Hannukah in Las Vegas
Try the lambchops

Aleph, Bet, Gimel, Dalet
Moses went to the Luxor
To shoot craps with Pharaoh
As he rolled the dice, he said real nice
Let my people Yo!

The cantors are playing poker
They use chocolate coins for chips
All the rabbis bet on dreidel roulette
And the casino moyel takes tips

Hannukah in Las Vegas
It's a real gelt trip!

Well, the shamash here is The Stratosphere
And David Copperfield makes the latkes disappear

Hannukah in Las Vegas, Mazeltov
Sammy's watching from above
I said Hannukah in Las Vegas
What's not to love

"Hannukah In Las Vegas" by Richard Cheese
Lyrics written by Mark Jonathan Davis
© Copyright 2006, 2013 Mark Jonathan Davis
Published by IdeatownUSA Recordings (ASCAP)

"Let's Lounge"
by Richard Cheese
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis

Richard Cheese's salute to laziness appeared on his 2011 album "A Lounge Supreme."

Well, there's trouble brewin' all around
Crime is up and the dollar's down
The sea is black and the air is brown
And the meter is in the red

Here's the message I'm deliverin'
If this mean old world that we're livin' in
Makes you feel like givin' in
Well I say, yes, go ahead!

Let's Lounge, that's my battle cry
Let's Lounge, don't even try
Let's Lounge, no more thinkin'
Let's Lounge, just keep drinkin'
Leave your troubles laying around
Get up, Sit down, and Let's Lounge

Your beer is warm and your steak is cool
You're losing sleep and you're failing school
Your immediate supervisor is a tool
Life can drive you up the wall

You starve and strive and slave and sweat
You try so hard, but nowhere you get
But do not fight, and do not fret
Why stand when you can fall?

Let's Lounge, drop the ball
Let's Lounge, cancel that wakeup call
Let's Lounge, life can be fair
Let's Lounge, if you don't care
Leave your troubles laying around
Get up, Sit down, and Let's Lounge

Everyone's after that pot of gold
But I bet it weighs a ton
It may be customary to seek a bowl of cherries
But fill mine with Ketel One

So if your lady's loose and your money's tight
If you're in a tunnel without a light
Here's a phrase for you to recite
But don't bother singin' it right

Let's Lounge, fill up your glass
Let's Lounge, get on your ass
Let's Lounge, buy three TV's
Let's Lounge, listen to Richard Cheese
Leave your troubles laying around
Get up, Sit down, and Let's Lounge

Give your worries the brush and we'll paint the town
Get up, Sit down and Let's Lounge

"Let's Lounge" by Richard Cheese
Lyrics written by Mark Jonathan Davis
© Copyright 2011 Mark Jonathan Davis
Published by IdeatownUSA Recordings (ASCAP) and Asian Boss Music (ASCAP)

"Vaccine Daddy"
by Richard Cheese
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis

Richard Cheese's album "Big Cheese Energy" features this new original song about Covid-19 vaccinations.

Hey baby has the virus got you afraid
Masks you've worn and home you've stayed
If the pandemic has got you lonesome and blue
Well honey I've got the remedy for you

Other boys might buy you diamonds and pearls
But I know what's on the mind of all the girls
I have something you need, I've got what you want
Let the rest stand in line, I'll get you to the front

I'm your Vaccine Daddy
I've got the connections (Vaccine Daddy)
To get you your injections (Vaccine Daddy)
I'm gonna treat all your troubles (Vaccine Daddy)
And hey my doses are doubles
No more nights of isolation
You're gonna dig my big inoculation
Vaccine Daddy

Let me examine you and check if you're warm
I can see you've properly filled out your form
Take off your coat and roll up your shirt
All the gals will tell you that it doesn't hurt

My sharp is sharp, my syringe goes deep
My hypodermic's longer than a CVS receipt
I've got a little pad with some alcohol
And once my needle's in, in love you'll fall

With your Vaccine Daddy
Your symptoms won't worsen
(Your Vaccine Daddy)
After some of my nursin'
(Your Vaccine Daddy)
No one's better (Vaccine Daddy)
With a super spreader
Tonight please invite me up your sleeve
If you're anti-vax, I'll make you believe
Vaccine Daddy

I'm gonna jab you, and stick you
And poke you, and prick you
I've got a lollipop you can lick, too
And I brought a little band-aid for your shoulder to stick to

Pfizer? I hardly know her!
Get a load of my Johnson & Johnson!

Now listen up baby if you liked what you got
Then come again for another shot
And bring all your girlfriends, I'll find them a slot
I keep my vials cold and my patients hot

He's your Vaccine Daddy
I'll turn on the charm (Your Vaccine Daddy)
For your upper arm (He's your Vaccine Daddy)
We'll be immunizin' (Vaccine Daddy)
Til the sun is risin'
My diagnosis is I love you a lot
And your injection site is my favorite spot
Vaccine Daddy

"Vaccine Daddy" by Richard Cheese
Lyrics written by Mark Jonathan Davis
© Copyright 2021 Mark Jonathan Davis
Published by IdeatownUSA Recordings (ASCAP)

"I Was Drunk"
by Richard Cheese
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis

Richard Cheese's album "Numbers Of The Beast" includes this intoxicating original song.

I was drunk when I wrote this
I was drunk when I wrote this
I was drunk when I wrote this
I wrote this song when I was drunk

I was drunk when I sang this
I was drunk when I sang this
I was drunk when I sang this
I sang this when I was drunk

I was drunk when I released this
I was drunk when I released this
I was drunk when I released this
I released this because I was drunk

You were drunk when you bought this
You were drunk when you bought this
You were drunk when you bought this
When you bought this you must have been drunk

I wrote this when I was drunk

"New Birthday Song"
by Richard Cheese
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis

Richard Cheese's original birthday song, from his 2011 "A Lounge Supreme" album.

It's ________'s birthday
What a great day
Everyone say
Happy birthday!
Hey!

"Richard Cheese's New Birthday Song" by Richard Cheese
Lyrics written by Mark Jonathan Davis
Music by Mark Jonathan Davis and Noel Melanio
© Copyright 2011 Mark Jonathan Davis
Published by IdeatownUSA Recordings (ASCAP) and Asian Boss Music(ASCAP)

"The Friday Song"
by Richard Cheese
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis and Rob Izenberg

A swingin' new original song from Richard Cheese's 2015 "Supermassive Black Tux" album.

Monday I've got the go to work blues
By Tuesday my job makes me want to snooze
Wednesday the boss starts busting my hump
And Thursday I'm in that work week slump

But on Friday when the whistle blows at five
It means the weekend has finally arrived

Oh Friday (Friday!)
Thank God you're here (Thank God, Thank God you're here!)
You're better than Christmas
You're my favorite day of the year

"Here's a verse for the kids..."

Five days a week I sit in school
Gettin' a daily dose of the golden rule
I try to stay awake so I will pass
But those teachers are a pain in the class

So on Friday when they ring that final bell
I'm ready to raise some h-e-l-l

Oh Friday (Friday!)
Thank God you're here (Thank God, Thank God you're here!)
You're better than Christmas
You're my favorite day of the year

Yeah, St. Patty's is fun, and so is Turkey Day
And I'm a big fan of Superbowl Sunday
But keep your Valentines, Halloweens, and Fourths of July
The best D-A-Y starts with F-R-I

So when the real world starts gettin' me down
I think of that day that's comin' around
Friday is here to set me free
It's the greatest day in history

If you want the weekend to get here soon
Listen to Richard Cheese and sing this tune

Oh Friday (Friday!)
Thank God you're here (Thank God, Thank God you're here!)
You're better than Christmas
You're my favorite day of the year

It's not Monday (not Wednesday!)
Not Tuesday (not Sunday!)
Not Wednesday (not Tuesday!)
Not Thursday (not Monday!)
It's Friday (Friday!)
Thank God you're here

It's not New Year's, or Earth Day
It's better than payday and your birthday
It's Friday (Friday!)
Thank God you're here
(Friday!)

"The Friday Song" by Richard Cheese
Lyrics written by Rob Izenberg and Mark Jonathan Davis
Music by Rob Izenberg
© Copyright 2015 Mark Jonathan Davis
Published by 660AM Music (ASCAP) and IdeatownUSA Recordings (ASCAP)

"My Microphone Is Broken"
by Richard Cheese
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis

From the 2021 album "Big Cheese Energy."

My microphone is broken
My microphone is broken
My microphone is broken
My microphone is broken

"My Microphone Is Broken"
Lyrics written by Mark Jonathan Davis
(C) Copyright 2021 Mark Jonathan Davis
Published by IdeatownUSA Recordings (ASCAP) and Quite A Collection Music (ASCAP)

SONG LYRICS

​"DRINK TO HAWAII"UKULELE SHEET MUSICAND​COCKTAIL RECIPE MAPAVAILABLE AT SHOP.RICHARDCHEESE.COM

"DRINK TO HAWAII"
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AND
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AVAILABLE AT SHOP.RICHARDCHEESE.COM