HIRE THE BAND
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HAVE RICHARD CHEESE
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IMPORTANT:
Please DON'T use this form for interview requests, podcasts, student films, or film/TV licensing.
Instead, go read section 4.7 of our FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS page (click here).
For Christmas parties, weddings, birthdays, and corporate events, use the hiring form below.
To hold a date, we require a $2500 non-refundable advance deposit.
For concert venues and public shows, use the hiring form below.
Please tell us venue capacity, guarantee offer, desired date, etc.
We prefer to perform in seated showrooms with 500+ seats; no standing-room-only venues.
During the pandemic, we are only performing at outdoor venues.
WARNING: Because we are amazing, our performance fee is expensive. We charge a shit ton of money. Our fee starts at $20,000, plus extra for travel, hotel, equipment, meals, and hookers. Just kidding, we don't need meals.
- Our typical show is 80 minutes long.
- Our band is a jazz trio (piano, bass, drums), but we can bring our horn section if you pay extra.
- Everyone who attends your event, whether it is indoor or outdoor, must be fully vaccinated or tested, and face masks must be worn.
- Our show is dirty, our songs are offensive, and Dick Cheese means smegma. Are you sure you want to hire us?
After reading all of the above, if you're still interested -- and if you're filthy rich -- please fill out the RICHARD CHEESE HIRE-THE-BAND FORM below.
IMPORTANT:
Please don't contact us if you aren't the boss, or if you intend to pay Richard Cheese with kegs of beer. Sorry, no, we can't play at your frat for $1200. And no, we don't accept cryptocurrency.
